i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
where does the pee come out of this thing
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
