She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
