Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
