i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
