Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
