I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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