the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
