you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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