xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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