im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
