I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
