ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
