Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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