dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
