wanna go halves on a baby?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
