I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
My vagina just recognized that song.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize
