i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
