guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
