In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
grandma shit on top of the toilet
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
