He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
