tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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