I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
