dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
