its not stalking. its research.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Randomize
