You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Say something about gay babies.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
