Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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