worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
