i just google imaged poop.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
