got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I enjoy the company of your penis
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
