Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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