Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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