Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Randomize
