Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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