I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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