Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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