it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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