we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
