I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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