Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
