Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
