By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
