Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Randomize
