We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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