Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
