omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
