OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
