Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
