Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
