so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
