i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
There r osticjed everywhere
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize