GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
