i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
