We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize