he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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