Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
