Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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