i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
