There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
