i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
