ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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