Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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